Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
