PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
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I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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