Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
