I looked at my own cervix.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
