That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
