dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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