Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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