I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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