similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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