Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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