I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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