We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
