so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
