Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
only if we run a train.
done.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
