i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Someone signed my nipple.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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