with your own penis?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Will exercising make me less horny?
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