I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
