I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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