hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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