Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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