dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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