There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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