so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
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Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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