i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
