You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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