Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
