My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
