6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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