Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Randomize
