The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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