5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize