kristin has been a bad kristin
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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