i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
wakey wakey hands off snakey
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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