i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
