he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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