I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
its not stalking. its research.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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