Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
