why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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