I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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