I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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