I puked a lego.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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