White coat. Heels.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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