one two three fourrrrnication!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
