Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
