we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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