Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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