Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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