i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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