Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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