Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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