I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
