You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
