Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
