Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
