The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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