It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
