I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is Oprah even human
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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