Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
