i think i have herpe
just one?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
