I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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